This morning our nanny Lorie told me Astrid cried for the first time yesterday when Lorie left. I had errands to run last night, so Uwe came home to get Astrid and I came home later in the evening. Lorie said she felt bad that the baby was crying, but at the same time it made her happy. (Picture my nanny saying this while having her hand over her heart.) It's only natural that they've bonded, since Lorie spends all day with her 5 days a week, and it's been 5 months. She feels like part of the family, like an aunt, and I'm happy that Astrid and our nanny have a close relationship.
When I asked Uwe about it he said Astrid wasn't in full on crying mode, but it was just a little whimpering to convey, "Hey, where are you going?" According to Uwe, "That'll change when we go on vacation." (We're going on vacation next month and we'll have lots of family time with the baby, with no nanny. It'll just be us 3 traveling in Europe together.)
Prior to having a baby we had heard stories about a friend's baby who was more closely bonded to its nanny than to its own mother, and there would be hours of crying when the mother came home from work and the nanny went home. What a nightmare for the parents. I can only imagine how heartbreaking that must have been. In the end, our friend decided to give up her job and become a stay at home mom.
Luckily in our case I was able to stay at home with Astrid for 10 months and she was able to bond with me before a nanny came into the picture. Looking back I really cherish that time we spent together because it allowed me the time to really get to know her. She's also used to the way I do things and is comforted by my touch and smell. In the pecking order I'm #1, Uwe's #2 and Lorie is #3.
Today when I came home and our nanny was leaving, I was holding Astrid in my arms and asked her, "Are you going to cry now that Lorie's leaving?" She just looked at me like, "Whatcha talkin' bout?" Our nanny Lorie laughed and said, "No, not when you're home. You're mommy."
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1 comment:
Rose, I know things are very different with young women these days compared to how it was when I was raising my kids. But I just could not leave my kids in the care of someone else all day and be comfortable or OK with it. I wanted to be home with my kids. It's not to say they didn't have a babysitter on occasion or interaction in other ways, but I was willing to do without nicer things to be home with them. How do you do it and not feel guilty? Or do you not feel guilty? I'm just curious and please don't take it as a slam...my DIL stays home with our grandson and our other DIL who is expecting intends to do the same. It's great you manage it all,but how do you do it? THAT'S the question! :)
Jeannie
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