Silent Night (bedtime lullaby)

I sang to Astrid every night at bedtime when she was a baby. Still at 5 years old I sing to her to ease her into the sleep transition when I see she needs it, or just to mix it up so it's not just a book & bed. She winds down, feels nice & cozy, and most of all loved.

Tonight after singing "Silent Night" to her she said:
"Mama you sing so beautiful when you do that one."

Oh, thank you. Good night sweetheart. Sweet dreams...of rainbows & butterflies.
Mama loves you.

Deep thoughts by a 5 year old

After dinner tonight Astrid announced that she no longer wanted to be a mom & here is the conversation that ensued:

Astrid: I changed my mind; I don't want to be a mom.
Me: How come?
Astrid: I want to be a Veterinarian instead.
Me: You can be a mom & a Veterinarian.
Astrid: Are you sure?
Me: Yes, you can be both. And I definitely want grand kids.
Astrid: (whispering into my ear like it's a secret...) Are there still mans (men) in the world who aren't married yet?
Me: (laughing) Yes, of course. You're already thinking about that? You're only 5 years old. You shouldn't be worrying about available men in the world yet.
Astrid: (big mischievous smile)

And this is just a month after she announced that Elmo (on Sesame Street) is for babies, claiming she's a big girl now. I couldn't believe at 5 she's already outgrown Sesame Street. And now the mature conversation above. What's next?

Happy Mother's Day 2010!

The first thing Astrid (5 yrs old) said when she woke up this morning was, "Happy Mother's Day Mama. Do you know what I wish for? I wish I was a mom today."

I guess it's all the presents, hugs, kisses & attention us moms get on this day.

Forever grateful I'm surrounded by my loving, little nuclear family. Mother's Day for me, now that I'm a mom, is really about enjoying the day with my family.

U. reserved a Mother's Day brunch for us and afterward I'm being treated to a massage. It's a good day.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers of the world.

I'm done! (aka please come wipe my butt)

I have to jot this down, as one day Astrid will stop shouting this from the bathroom, and I'll have completely forgotten all about this sitcom situation with the little one.

Before Astrid goes to the bathroom she will tell U. & I that she is going pee and/or poop and then says she will tell us when she's ready. After a few minutes we hear "I'm done!" shouted from the bathroom. Meaning - Mama/Papa come wipe me!

Sometimes it's a false alarm and as soon as we rush to the bathroom we're met with "I mean I'm not done yet!" or "Just kidding!"

It's classic stuff. Sometimes U. & I will be eating dinner, or right in the middle of something when we hear "I'm done!" being shouted from the bathroom and we'll both look at each other - no words are exchanged - and one of us will say, "I'll go."

U. asked me by what age do kid's wipe themselves. I have yet to google this. Astrid has started wiping herself at school, but when she's at home she prefers Mama & Papa wipe her (and if it's #2 we prefer it as well.) But just like the diaper stage, it will be nice when the wiping stage ends, and then we're off to yet another stage.

Awww...parenthood.

Cat has 2 T's?

Tonight Astrid (aka my 4 yr old spelling bee queen) was adamant that the word "cat" has two T's. I heard her arguing with her dad and getting so frustrated that she came upstairs to tell me Papa was not listening to her.

I got her to explain to me what she was saying and then of course agreed with U. that "cat" has only 1 T. But my role as mom (aka Sherlock Holmes) means that I must not rule anything out, especially if Astrid is so adamant about being right - experience has shown there's either a misunderstanding or some truth to what she's saying. That means not ruling out that cat has two T's.

So she said, " Yes! I'll show you!" And I was happy that she's at an age where she can show me exactly what she's talking about. Rather than having a tantrum she can explain it to me in a different way to make me understand what she's trying to say.

So Astrid went to get her little kid laptop, that has words and letter games. The word she pointed out was "kitten". Yep, it has two T's.

All in a day's work

Every morning is hectic getting a preschooler ready for school (and myself ready for work), but especially this morning.

Never mind that I had reminded her 10 times at least to be ready, that I had an early morning meeting at the office to attend. And as I was getting ready in the bathroom, Astrid got into the diaper rash cream. I spotted her running to the downstairs bathroom with 2 very white hands and white stains all over her sweater. When I asked what she was doing she shouted, "Nothing!" I could smell the Desitin. I think she was trying to play with it with one of her dolls as she was telling the doll to go poop in the toilet just before.

Then, just as we were putting on our shoes & getting ready to leave the house, Astrid announced that she couldn't find the Valentine's Day card she made for her teacher Ms. Parima.

So as I watch my 4 (almost 5) year old burst into tears and refuse to leave the house without the card, my heart is racing because I know I'm going to be late for my meeting, and I'm weighing that with Astrid's preschool being closed Friday and Monday for President's Day - so if we were to bring the card on Tuesday, Valentine's Day will have passed. Plus my kid put all that work into making her teacher a beautiful card. So I made a split second Executive decision...

"Okay Astrid - let's go to school and after my meeting I will pick you up for lunch and we can come home, look for the card, have lunch together, and then you can give the card to Ms. Parima."

It worked. My kid happily agreed through her tears.

I had 3 back to back meetings this morning and when I looked at my watch it was 11:40, so I made a mad dash to Astrid's preschool to pick her up. We're at home now and as I was helping her look...she found the card! YAY!

Now lunch with my daughter and then a mad dash back to the office to finish a few projects before my evening appointment.

All in a day's work...

Kid's Yoga Class

A few weeks ago Astrid started taking an hour long kid's Yoga class every Sunday.

I've been practicing Yoga for a few years and Astrid likes to stretch with me "Let's do Yoga together mom!". And she'd do "downward dog" on her own. We had tried another kid's Yoga class (Family Yoga at the Y) where adults participated too, but there was very little Yoga being taught and more just running around and was a bit chaotic. We didn't go back. But this new class really teaches Yoga to the kids - the words as well as the poses, and it's for kid's only which is great.

Astrid at 4 1/2 is the youngest kid in the class but she holds her own - by listening to the instructor, following instructions and just soaking it all up like a sponge.

After last week's class she excitedly told me she learned "Namaste" today, and showed me how she did the "tree pose". So cute! And she learned a new mantra - "I am calm. I am at peace. I am focused."

She loves it and I'm happy she's being introduced to something she can do her entire life.

(We also signed her up for Karate classes on Saturdays. More to come on that. And she is continuing to take a Musical Theatre "Pop Star" class during the week.)

Birthday all year long

Astrid has been talking about & planing her birthday constantly since her last one in April. She talks about where it's going to be, creates her list of invitees, and all the details. At first she didn't understand why everyday couldn't be her birthday. I tried to explain to her it's because a birthday celebrates the one day you were born & everyone has just 1 birthday which is celebrated once each year.

I've never seen any kid so obsessed about having a birthday party. I can understand after the birthday party being excited and wanted to talk about it. Or when your birthday gets close to want to start planning. But she has been planning her next birthday the day after her birthday and it has continued throughout an entire year.

"What are we going to do for my next birthday mom? Who can we invite? What kind of birthday cake should I get?"

It's kind of sweet in that I know we've created a very special day for her that she loves & gets excited talking about all year long. And looks forward to all year long. All her friends can come, they play, have cake, decorations just for her party, and everyone sings happy birthday to her. I even come to the school with cupcakes so her class can sing happy birthday & celebrate with her. And sometimes when her actual birthday falls on weekday, U. & I take her out to a restaurant for dinner.

All of this constant birthday chatter has made me look forward to the day too esp. when the date gets closer, and keeps me on my toes thinking about all the details...place, theme, goodie bags, cake, balloons, games, food, face painting.

For Astrid's 1st birthday we had a traditional Korean 1st birthday at our house & Astrid, myself & my mom were dressed in Korean Hamboks (traditional Korean dresses).

Birthday #2 - We celebrated her birthday at home with the family. Astrid & I baked a bran muffin in birthday cupcake wrappers & she got to blow out her candle and eat her muffin. U. surprised Astrid by blowing up a bunch of balloons to fill up the upstairs room just for her.

Birthday #3 - We had her birthday party at Peekaboo Playland (indoor & outdoor playground) & the theme was the circus. So much fun playing in the bouncy house with slide, dress up & coordinator to setup & cleanup.

Birthday #4 - We had her birthday party at Amy's Playground (indoor playground) & the theme was Hello Kitty. The kids had a blast running around and playing & we had a face painter there who painted a Hello Kitty on Astrid's cheek. This time I dressed Astrid in Hello Kitty socks & tiara.

Birthday #5 - Coming up in April - at the new Peekaboo Playland location on Colorado Blvd. in Eagle Rock. www.peekabooplayland.com. Theme will be butterflies.

So now her birthday is coming up in a little over 2 months - and this year I've already made all the arrangements. Astrid wants to have it at Peekaboo Playland, and since they moved to their new location it'll be extra fun for her. Same setup, but new location with more things to do.

I decided that this year I would rather pay a little more and have Peekaboo Playland take care of the goodie bags for the children, print up invitation flyers for me (rather than having to hand write them out for all her classmates in preschool), provide the plates (real plates with lady bug, monkey, elephants on them that they wash afterwards - more green earth friendly), utensils, tablecloths, food, juice & balloons. And again this year we are going to have face painting. New this year will be musical chairs, limbo & parachute games. I paid for an extra hour (3 hours total) since Astrid is a little older now & the kids need more time to play.

The only thing I need to do is buy the cake (and buy drinks for the adults). We went to our local bakery in Eagle Rock (Ruby's bakery) and picked out a cake - One with a rainbow & butterflies. Very whimsical & kid appropriate (without Disney commercial junk). So the theme this year will be "butterflies". I even picked out some really cool, big mylar butterfly balloons from Balloon Emporium.

When I tried to place my cake order at the bakery & put down a deposit - the lady behind the counter looked at me and chuckled and said it was WAY too early.

My kid is rubbing off on me! But at least we're all set & pretty much all the details are taken care of and my kid will have another great birthday this year. The most important thing is that she's surrounded by her friends and family who love & adore her.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Today Astrid was telling me what she wanted to be when she grows up.

Astrid: "I want to be a Yoga teacher, a classroom teacher, and a mom."
Me: "What happened to wanting to be a Veterinarian?"
Astrid: "Oh yeah. That too."

Martin Luther King Day (from a 4 yr old's perspective)

Astrid: "Is today Martin Luther Day?"
Me: "Yes, it's Martin Luther King Day."
Astrid: "Is today his birthday?"
Me: "I don't think so. It's just a day to celebrate him & his life."
Astrid: "He says - No fighting, no hitting, we all need to get along with each other - right Mom?"
Me: "Yes, that's right. And everyone should be treated fairly & equally."

I could tell she's been learning of MLK in preschool. A pretty good way to explain his belief in non-violent protests by explaining it to preschoolers as "no fighting & no hitting", and civil rights as "getting along with each other".

Peace on Earth 2009

Wishing you and your family a wonderful holiday & happy new year!

(Photo taken at Pershing Square, Downtown LA holiday ice skating rink.)

Sleeping in her own bed

Tonight as I was trying to sneak out of Astrid's bedroom she said to me, "Goodnight Mom. I'll see you in the morning. Can you turn the light off?"

Oh my gosh, my daughter is a big girl now!

When she was born both U. and I agreed that we didn't want a baby sleeping with us in our bed. We'd heard horror stories from friends and didn't want that for ourselves.

We setup a routine as soon as we could and Astrid slept in her crib and then her own bed. Then over a year ago things changed. Astrid traveled with U. to Germany to see his dying mother and pay his last respects. She died not too long after that. Astrid had night terrors after that and was traumatized by the experience. She continued to have night terrors when she got home, so we let her sleep in our bed. That setup a bad habit. It was easier to let her sleep in our bed then it was to go through a whole ordeal and lots of tears and tantrums to get her to sleep in her own bed. We thought she would go back to sleeping in her bed, but realized unless we went back to the routine it would never happen.

So we started with baby steps, Astrid had to go to sleep in her own bed, and she could come into ours if she woke up in the night. We got her a dream catcher, and hung it in her bedroom window to help catch the bad dreams in the webbing, so no bad dreams to get through and they'd melt away with the morning sun. That helped a little. Until she had bad dreams again and told me the dream catcher didn't work. Then she would sleep and come into our bed in the morning. Whenever she would protest that she couldn't sleep all by herself, I reminded her that she did when she was a baby and she could as a big girl.

Friends of ours with a kid around the same age have the same issue. Their take on it is that their kid won't be little forever, and will one day not want to be so close to them, so they permit it.

It can be very sweet to sleep with your kid. They're warm & snuggly and there's so much love and tenderness there. To watch Astrid sleep takes my breath away sometimes, she looks so sweet an innocent, a little angel. But the reality is it never gave U. and I time to ourselves in the evenings, and one of us would end up on the couch when Astrid would crawl into our bed, because there wasn't enough room for all 3 of us to be comfortable. After a year of that things had to change back to the way we tried to hard to get to - her sleeping in her own bed.

In the process, she would cry like a banshee every time she heard me try to sneak out after she'd just fallen asleep - after hours of trying to get her to sleep with reading, songs, back rubs, her sleep sheep playing the song of rain. She'd cry out, "Don't leave!" I was getting frustrated, and more times than I'd like to admit I fell asleep in her bed - being exhausted and waiting for the moment when she would fall asleep - I'd put myself to sleep.

The past couple days she has slept through the night again in her own bed. I've tried to make her bed the most comfortable, cozy place on earth with a new blanket and pillow, and U. put up the canopy again that makes it like a kid cave. (We took it off in the summer when it got too hot, but now it's Fall and nights are cooler.) Recently my mom bought her a winter blanket that is pink and super soft, with a matching super soft, pink pillowcase. She crawled into bed and had no qualms about going to sleep tonight.

We're also reading "The Wizard of Oz". The book has great illustrations and it's long so I read pages to her each night, and we continue where we left off each night. She saw the movie with her nanny so she knows the story, which captivates her imagination.

And I sing to her which I've done since she was a newborn.

Keeping my fingers crossed that this sticks - so U. & I can get a good night's sleep and hope the little one does too in her own bed.

Great Idea

At this age Astrid is able to tell me what she's thinking about, and she loves to share her great ideas with me like this one:

Astrid was telling me she had a great idea. That she could write a letter to Santa Claus this year.

"That's a great idea I thinked about in my brain," she said.

I made a pact with Astrid

Astrid REALLY wants a baby brother or baby sister. I mean BADLY. She is so baby crazy. Just about everyday she asks me if I'm going to have one for her. So finally I sat her down and was like look here's the deal-

How can I have another baby if you act like a baby? Then I'll have two babies to take care of, and Mommy can't take care of two babies at once. I can only have another baby if you act like a big girl. You have to listen to mommy. No more temper tantrums.

Astrid responded, "Okay! Okay! I will mom! I promise!"

She'll do anything to get a baby. And she knows that in order to grease the wheel to get me to agree to have another child would be a major accomplishment - as I am definitely NOT baby crazy. I am perfectly happy with one child.

Now whenever Astrid acts up all I have to say is one of two things:
"I thought you wanted a brother or sister?" or "Are you acting like a baby or a big girl?"
Immediately she'll change her tune - smile and say, "Oh I forgot. Okay. Sorry I'll be good."

So lately my demands have been ramping up.
"You have to go to bed at night without any tears," I said tonight. "I can't have another baby if you cry every time I put you to bed. Then I'll have the little baby crying & you crying - and I can't handle two babies crying at the same time."

"No more crying when I brush your teeth Astrid. You're a big girl now."

Both those comments were followed by a smile and twinkle in her eye at knowing if she acts like a big girl she will get her baby. That's the pact we made.

Tonight she wanted me to get her string cheese from the fridge after dinner, and I said I would, but she had to wait since I was cleaning the dishes.

"Look mom. I'm being good. Can you give me a baby now?" she said.

Oh and I'm afraid she may have inherited my ability to negotiate because now she is demanding a baby brother AND a baby sister.

So we'll see how this goes.

Only Mama & Papa

Astrid had a urinary tract infection earlier this year that cleared up nicely with antibiotics. But then a month later she had some similar symptoms - fever, nausea, and she was telling me that it hurt when she went pee. So I immediately took her to see the Pediatrician again. The tests came back negative, but the doctor wanted to examine Astrid.

That is when all hell broke lose. Astrid did NOT want to let the doctor examine her private area. She would not sit on the table. She would not let me pull her underwear down. No siree.

The peeing in the cup was bad enough, but she was kicking & screaming & completely hysterical when she heard the doctor wanted to check her out down there.

When I asked her about it afterwards she said, "I didn't want her to. Only Mama & Papa can do that."

In the end we just made sure no more bubble baths, just water and soap and we have had no more problems. But it donned on me that Astrid is old enough to know what inappropriate is - even if it's a doctor. And to understand the difference between what trusted people are allowed to do and strangers. I shared this with U. and he said, "It's good that she knows the difference."

And with all the cases that have come to light of children being abducted - I have had kid discussions with Astrid about strangers. If a stranger asks her to come with them - to say no and run away & get an adult. If an adult asks her for help looking for their dog or to find something or help them with anything - don't go alone - find Mama & Papa first. Never go with a stranger, even if they have a kid with them. If you think she's too young at 4 1/2 to understand - think again. Her response to me was, "Do they take you and put you in a cage?"

I don't want to scare her, but I want to give her the tools to be able to see through a ruse and to have that in her head in case she's ever in that situation - to be prepared.

She also tells me when we're holding hands, crossing the street together, "Only cross the street with Mama & Papa. Never run out into the street by yourself." Exactly.

Just want my little one to be safe.

Angel

From the back seat of the car, Astrid explained to me that there were Tooth Fairies around Santa Claus.

I had no clue what she was talking about until I noticed she was staring at an Advent calendar that we bought from the German market, and there were creatures with wings around Santa. She kept asking me if they were tooth fairies, holding the Advent calendar up so I could see it in the rear view mirror.

I told her I thought they could be fairies or Christmas angels - but I didn't think they were tooth fairies. Then of course she argued with me that they were indeed tooth fairies.

Me: "Who lost a tooth?"
Astrid: "I don't know."
Me: "Isn't the tooth fairy supposed to come when a kid loses a baby tooth?"
Astrid: "Oh yeah."

Astrid: "I think they're angels."
Me: "Could be."
Astrid: "Just like me. I'm your little angel."
(So sweet. I do call her my little angel.)

Astrid: "But I don't have wings. And I can't fly."
Me: "You don't need to fly. You'll always be my little angel."
Astrid: "I know."

Family TV watching

I'm not a bit proponent of TV. I'd much rather Astrid be painting, or doing a puzzle, or playing - than watching the boob tube. In fact I did not allow her to watch any TV before the age of 2. Even though those Baby Einstein DVD's were all the rage. And even after we rationed & heavily censored the shows we did allow her to watch. We made sure they were educational shows like Sesame Street, more geared towards her age on PBS with no commercials.

But now as she's getting older (she's 4 1/2), for the first time we are allowing her watch 1 TV show with us that is not a kid's show or a cartoon made for pre-kinder children. That show happens to be Survivor. It's a reality TV game show, there's beautiful scenery/nature/wildlife, and there's just enough going on that keeps the little one interested.

We all cuddle up under a blanket on the couch on Thursday evenings and enjoy the show together as a family.


Astrid stays up later now. So long gone are the days she went to bed at 6:30 every night. Those were nice in that U. and I had time together after the baby was asleep. But the reality is now we don't even get home until 6:30 (from work/school). Then there's dinner to cook & eating dinner together. We want to be able to spend some time with her before she goes to bed and goes to school the next day, rather than rushing her off to bed.

U. and I are getting sick of watching kid shows & it's nice to be able to watch a show as a family. We can actually watch it live while it's playing on TV. Whenever one of us leaves the room to go to the bathroom or kitchen or wherever - the other family members shout out "It's on!" after commercials. Kind of fun.

Tonight's episode, one of the contestants killed a rat and they cooked it and ate it. So we had an interesting conversation with Astrid about why the girl did that - she was starving & it was food, etc. She told us, "No it's not! It's a mouse. It's cute." And she's right of course. At least she's old enough to question things and talk about it.

Funny thing is she must enjoy it too, because she'll ask for "the show with people" - Survivor during the week and we keep trying to explain to her that it's only on Thursday, just once a week. She keeps insisting we watch it everyday, not quite getting the concept of a weekly TV show.

Astrid is now 4 yrs, 6 months, 3 weeks & 4 days old

Where has the time gone?

I look at my little baby who is growing into a beautiful little girl. I remember when she was just born and how small and delicate she was. Now she has long, strong legs and it's no longer easy to hold her in my arms like a baby.

Tonight she fell asleep on the couch while I was holding her. U. & I argued over who should carry her to her room to put her to bed. U. claimed it wasn't good for his injured back. I argued I wouldn't be able to lift her up in her bunk bed. She was sound asleep so she was dead weight. In the end we compromised. U. picked her up off my lap to chest level, and I took her from there. She woke up a bit so she crawled right up into her bed. This is the same baby that U. used to hold in one hand while bottle feeding. Now look at us - 2 parents claiming our kid is going to break out back.

Last night as I was singing to Astrid at bedtime, she smiled at me as her eyelids got heavy. She looked so sweet and innocent, just like a doll. I stared at her face, taking in every detail, just like I did when she was a newborn. Marveling at what a beautiful creature she is. Blessed to be her mother. And forever thankful.

Astrid wants a baby (our conversation over lunch)

Astrid and I had an interesting conversation over lunch today. There was a family eating close by with a crying baby and Astrid got very serious and told me she wants a baby.

Astrid: Mom, I want a baby.
Me: Astrid, you have lots of babies.
Astrid: No, no not a doll. I want a REAL baby.
Me: Why do you want a baby?
Astrid: I want to feed it and take care of it and put it to sleep.
Me: What if the baby cries for hours and won't go to sleep?
Astrid: I'll hold it and rock it back and forth and sing to it so it goes to sleep.
Me: Remember when we babysat Maddox? All you wanted to do was feed her, but when she wasn't hungry you weren't interested.
Astrid: I'm older now. I'm a big girl. I can take care of a baby. Please can I have a baby?
Me: Where are you going to get a baby?
Astrid: Maybe someone will give one to me.
Me: You think someone is going to leave a baby outside for you to come pick it up?
Astrid: (laughing) No. Hmm...we need to think about how I can get a baby.


Okay I'll get right on it.

The new face of Summer

Photo taken by Astrid's Godmother today.